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Alien Covenant Review

| May 15, 2017


This movie is like a roller coaster that lasts 2 hours that starts with 40 minutes on a level surface. Inside of the theater where the screening took place, it was a mixed bag of reviews. The guy to the left of me at the film exclaimed, “Now, that’s how you make an Alien movie!” The guy he came with replied with, “Really?! You liked it?” Personally, I wasn’t a huge fan of the film.

Personally, I wasn’t a huge fan of the film. That doesn’t mean that it didn’t have some redeeming qualities. This film brought us some of the xenomorphs that we wanted. When the action starts (roughly 47 minutes in), the first versions that we see are pretty damn scary. I had a pocket full of NOPES for each of the first 2 that I saw in the film. After that though, I wasn’t incredibly impressed with the xenomorphs and had a bit of a Transformers moment (never a good thing) where I was confused about how durable these things are. What does and does not kill them easily or at all?! *I realize that different xenomorphs will be more or less evolved but two identical xenomorphs gave me this particular fit.*

SLIGHT SPOILER: If you’ve ever desired some homoerotic scenes between two Michael Fassbender’s, I have good news for you. This movie has that in spades. While Hollywood needs to do a good job of including same-sex relationships into storylines, these interactions felt weird and made the entire crowd laugh when it wasn’t supposed to. A tense moment of character development should rarely include the phrase, “I’ll do the fingering.” Unintentionally funny lines aside, Fassbender outshined the rest of the cast by a large margin.

As a major fan of Jason McBride, I am happy to say that you can count on him being good in a variety of dramatic roles. Any true Eastbound and Down fan already knew that he could bring emotion and depth to any role though. That being said, his casting felt like somebody was like, “You know that thing that we did with Idris where we made him a pilot that likes hats? Let’s do that again.”

Overarching thought: Very flawed but with redeeming qualities.

At the end of the day, it is better than Prometheus and we have a full understanding of how xenomorphs came to be. [I guess that whole backstory in Alien vs Predator is completely abandoned.] It’s definitely got some redeeming qualities and should be watched by any major Aliens franchise fans. For the casual moviegoer though, I’d recommend opting for one of the many other blockbusters hitting cinemas this summer.

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